The Good Old Sin Gauge

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Today I have been super busy being all architectural and such. I should probably get back to it ASAP since we’re enjoying a deadline only the citizens of Wonderland would enjoy…

Anywho… I made a typo that I knew would make a fantastic thing to share! One that is only possible for me to create. So newly added to the vaults of things I incorrectly read/type I bring to you the following typo:

let's gauge this sin
I say my sin gauge is at a solid 6.

 

At least I caught it before it left the office, it could have been much more disastrous in the owner of the projects possession… or even my boss. Once we sent drawings to a meeting that said “Window Lovers” instead of “Window Louvers” it wasn’t my mistake… but it was hilarious.

I’m going to have to go work on my Sin Gauge now… and draw a ramp or something.

♫Lauren

P.S. Happy Birthday Eve to Christine and Isabel!

Jimmy and the Fashion Statement

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I would like to think I’m a very fashionable girl. You know, if you are into girls who as my coworkers call me “Dress Like America.” And by that they mean, I wear a lot of nautical clothing.

My Current Fashion Icon: Mary Ann Summers from Gilligan’s Island. Yep, I’m only 45 years behind in fashion/ updates in clothing. But who else out there has 7 straw purses for various straw purse occasions?

But lately someone is crashing my fashion forefront and that is my dear friend Jimmy. He’s becoming the trendiest trendster out there, and no he’s not buying stove pipe hats, and he’s not becoming a Lincoln impersonator.

He’s forsaken izod’s and polo’s and started to dress more like a happening dude of the 1930s… because that is how Jimmy’s are. I think all this is fine and dandy until he sent me a picture of an overly striped jacket with extra stripes on it…

And then he told me it was $800. And when my brain regained consciousness it could only make this doodle:

So much money for a sweater that doesn't work in the cold!

 

I told him there are better things to do with $800. Like take a trip to Chicago, go to Santa Barbara for a few days… Buy 3,200 chicken nuggets… Join a gym for 5 years… Buy uncountable erasers… get 1,600 prizes from a $.50 machine… give me $800 dollars…. Because if you don’t have Kardashian loads of money… friends don’t let friends buy $800 sweaters.

So Jimmy… no, to that sweater.

♫Lauren

Friday Threats w/ Lauren

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I know it’s such a popular thing to be all “Boo… Hiss” at work on Friday’s… but for some reason I’m jumping on that bandwagon this week. And I’m jumping on that wagon with the sweet hot intensity of a bronze metal pole vaulter…. because this work week has been pretty darn brutal.

Like I’m about to hold a candle light vigil to my artistic principles- kind of brutal.

But what can you do…they can’t take my doodles away:

If today was Thursday I would be shining up my red Candies shoes... for those "Summer Nights"

 

Here’s to a snazzy weekend!

♫Lauren

P.S. Happy birthday Justin!

 

That’s What Friends Are For

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My day has not been all thumbs up, and happy bird drawings today.

And that’s okay, I guess…

But when I find myself a little bit down and find the projects I’ve been working on for months in shambles… I like to take a moment to draw my b.f.f. Christine in a large pile of dip.

Mucho Guacamole dip to be exact:

Yep this is what I do to relax… draw my friends in piles of food. Which is a completely casual fun way to pass your day. Someday I hope to convince Christine to let me make new packages for her dip mixes .. until then it will just become an obsessive hobby that I will try to convince others to join in…

So take some time, and draw someone you adore  in  a big ole pile of dip.

♫Lauren

P to the S: Did you notice my not so hidden advertisement for MPK Foods? You should totally buy MPK Food’s Mucho Guacamole Dip! It’s the dip mix of Champions and is 100% Lauren and Christine approved.

Excuse me, Miss…

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I find myself in strange situations constantly. I don’t know if its because I have some sort of “weirdo” frequency I emit to the world. Or maybe its just because I am a girl that lives in California… most can admit, it’s a bit weird here.

Most people would just try to ignore the strange things around them. But not me, I’m just too curious not to play into these things.

And for some reason I find that these situations some of the best things that could happen to a girl.

Here are several examples of fun incidents:

-Walking lost old ladies to a restaurant when my only intention of being outside was to throw out garbage. Only to find out that they are so full of historical knowledge of the area that I nearly wanted to hijack their dinner and listen to their memories for hours!

-Helping strangers load luggage/ small store purchases into their cars and being paid in fruit, and no matter how much you protest you walk away with fruit (This has happened more than once.)

-Being trapped in a a very small elevator with a woman who at first is not very talkative but then after a few minutes and realization we were stuck in an elevator together got quite chummy. She turned out to be Susan Adler the author of several of my favorite American Girl books (Shout Out to my Childhood!)

-Having my Fortune read to me by a “Psychic Cat” (I suggest that everyone in the Southern California area… give this a try)

-Being given a bottle of wine, for telling some guy in Rome what time it was… (I don’t think he had a Fiat, Cakes)

-Being told by producers of Ellen that Colin Farrell loved my description of him including but not limited to his “Luscious, unyeilding folicles”

-And of course, having long conversations with people from other businesses in the same building. To the point where I almost tell them, “I’m sorry I have to go to work now.” The best thing is that they never talk to my Professional Coworker, who is beginning to think it’s a conspiracy.

In short, my existence is pretty darn rad, and I’m ready for today’s adventures!

♫Lauren

The happiest drawing!

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Hey there internet!

It’s been so long! Our internet and phone has been down! And boy is it hard to get a drawing scanned and uploaded when that happens. But who wants to think about the bad stuff? The internet is back and I’m happier than I could ever be.

So I want to share the happiest drawing I can! And that means… a bird drawing…. that’s right a drawing about birdies!

And you know why bird drawings are the happiest drawings ever? Because birds are just happy to be birds.

Have a snazzy day internet!

♫Lauren

I’ve been waiting for this moment all my Dorky life!

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The following is a true story, and a testament to how dorky I am.

So I was driving a few days ago from work. I’m feeling pretty icky as I am living through cold-a-palooza (the world’s longest cold). I flip through the radio station, and is it? Could it really be? Is it really, Phil Collins?

A lexicon of feelings surge through me…

My inner thoughts scream: Yes! This is so thrilling!

So I crank  my radio as loud as it will play… Like I’m listening to a low-rider jam! And this guy pulls up to me and starts smiling and making flirty faces with me… until:

At first I’m pretty sure he thought it was the older man behind me… but, no it was me. And anyways if he can’t handle Phil Collin’s then he would never be able to handle all the Hall & Oates I listen to.

And I that is how I recently was protected by the power of DORK!

♫Lauren

Things Just keep Getting Better!

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I thought the best thing about today is that I’m wearing a dress… but much like that song they play on “Queer Eye for the Straight Guy” Things have just got so much better!

Today is a DOUBLE POST KIND OF DAY!

-I got to briefly reenact West Side Story with a coworker. I’m talking about choreographed knife fights in the office people!

-One of my bestie’s, Christine likes an outfit I drew her in so much she wants to make it in real life!

-I have not had a Bird Man Dream since Tuesday!

-I got to eat barbecue potato chips at lunch (If you can’t tell yet, I’m easily amused.)

– I’m featured as today’s Crazy Chick on Lafemme’s Crazy Chick’s Club, which is a hilarious blog that is good for all the people!

 

I really am most excited about the last one… Even though those chips had a lot of barbecue powder on them!

Anyways! Today I say thanks so much for interviewing me Lafemme! And Let’s hear it for the weird girls… because we’re taking over!

Let's get really weird!

 

♫Lauren

Why I’m not taking Nyquil Anymore

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I’ve been fighting a cold for the last week. And it has been brutal.

I have called all my old friends out to help me… Advil, benadryl, some Generic orange flavored cough syrup and even Nyquil.

Because of the magical cocktail of drugs I was taking. I was blessed with some of the most surreal and equal parts terrifying dreams ever. Volcanoes, giant corns crushing my house, 50 foot tall goats running away with my car… I was at the point where I was almost not able to sleep.  After testing out which drugs I took before I go to bed I discovered much like the detective in Clue it was… Nyquil! This cough syrup of doom was the culprit that had changed my joyous dreams, into a freakish playground of sleeplessness, and terrifying dreams of Bird Men (who are 75% men, 25% bird).

These “Bird Men” are for some reason the most terrifying thing my brain has ever created. (And I like birds). They were very tall men in suits with incredibly realistic bird heads… and even more scary, it was not a fake head! They all spoke perfect English, and I was the only one without a bird head. And when I tried to find my regular human friends I discovered that their apartments were full of these weird bird men who were dressed in fancy suits. These dreams went on for 4 days straight.

Needless to say, I’m not taking Nyquil after watching Mad Men ever again

bird man and I in the elevator... this was a lot scarier than it looks

♫Lauren